keepingupwithlife

Have you ever parked in a disabled parking space, hung up your permit and gotten out, only to have some stranger say “you don’t look disabled to me?” Have you ever asked to use the motorized carts at a store, only to be told that those carts are only for the disabled? How about sitting in the reserved seats on public transportation, only to deal with people staring at you with disapproval because you don’t LOOK like you have an issue; or trying to use an elevator reserved for the disabled only to be told by security that you have to use the stairs because you aren’t in a wheelchair? Even worse, have you ever been told by someone in a wheelchair that because YOU aren’t in a chair, you don’t have the same right to use permit parking or reserved elevators that they do?

There are millions of us out there, 3 to 6 million diagnosed with fibromyalgia alone. Then add in arthritics with no visible deformity, those with spinal damage that is not severe enough to put them in a wheelchair, diabetics with neuropathy, knee damage, ankle damage, and on and on. Those with “invisible” disabilities outnumber the wheelchair bound, but because our disability can’t be seen it’s assumed to be non-existent, even by others in the disability community.

Not only is there discrimination in public areas, there is also discrimination in the very offices set up to help the disabled. State disability services frequently require that their clients be receiving Social Security Disability to qualify; but the Social Security Administration has a pattern of denying claims by those with invisible disabilities such as fibromyalgia, mental illness, etc.; perpetuating discrimination within the very institutions set up to aid the disabled. Denial letters may even acknowledge that disability exists, while minimizing it and stating that it does not “prevent all work.”

Discrimination is everywhere, even in our own homes, where our family and friends can’t see our pain and don’t understand why we have to pace ourselves. They frequently accuse us of being lazy or procrastinating because we have to ask for help with the things that trigger flares in our disease and because it takes us longer to complete household chores.

Is there anything we can do to stop this kind of discrimination? Yes, there is. We can use the same methods that every other disadvantaged group has used to improve their lives, the same process that is already in place in the disability community. We can use letters and political activism, we can use the legal system and the Americans with Disabilities Act, we can raise our voices and speak out against the unfairness of being ignored and treated as less deserving because our disabilities aren’t readily apparent. Our silence helps to perpetuate the misunderstanding and the discrimination, and we need to tell others what it is like for us, or they will never understand.