keepingupwithlife

It’s one of those days - time to start making a list I guess. For those of you who don’t know, fibrofog is what people with fibromyalgia call the mental foggieness that is a symptom of fibro. I know that everyone has experienced something similar; I mean everyone gets up to go into another room and do something, then can’t remember what they wanted to do when they get there; but fibrofog is different, more extreme, more disturbing.

Imagine being right in the middle of writing yourself a note to remember to do something. You have the pen in your hand, the pad on the table in front of you, but you can’t remember what you were going to write. That’s the normal version. The fibrofog version is that you look down, see the pen in your hand, the pad in front of you, and you can’t remember why they’re there. Not only do you not remember what you were going to write, you don’t even remember that you were going to write something. It’s frustrating, disturbing, and can really mess up your life.

I’m lucky, my fibrofog tends to be fairly mild, partly because I use herbs that enhance memory, partly because my fibro is not as bad as a lot of folks, but it’s still upsetting to be doing the laundry and go back to switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer, only to find that I left the washer open so it didn’t spin out and do the rinse cycle. It really messes with a schedule, and no matter how good your time management skills are, if things like that happen, it throws everything off.

Sometimes even lists don’t help. After all, for a list to do any good, you have to be able to find it. There’s very little in life that is more frustrating than knowing you have a to do list, not being able to remember what’s on it, and not being able to find it. At that point, you have several options. Cry; have a tantrum; or sit down, take a deep breath, and relax. Which one happens has a lot to do with my mental state, too. Being bipolar complicates things because if I’m already depressed I cry more easily, and if I’m manic I lose my temper. Neither one helps much, unless I accidentally pick up the list to throw it.

The thing that actually helps me is to sit down, take a deep breath, and relax. Then I can try to trace my steps, starting with visualizing writing the list. (This helps with finding other things you’ve laid down somewhere, too, as long as it hasn’t been too long.) I picture myself with the list, where I went, what I did, if I picked up something else, every detail I can come up with. I try to trace every move I made as exactly as possible, even physically walking through it all if I have to.

It’s amazing how often this will work, too. Even when you aren’t “paying attention” your brain records everything you do, filing it away for later, and it’s possible to access it using the proper methods. This is the one that works for me, but you may find one that works better for you. The most important thing is that not too much time has passed. The longer it’s been, the more likely it is that the information has been “overwritten” or discarded, just like you delete old computer files when they aren’t needed any more.

Anyway, back to the reason I need a list today. So far, I’ve started the washer, then discovered when I got ready to put in the clothes that I’d forgotten to put in the detergent; then when I went back to put them in the dryer, they were sitting with the lid up - no spin. I made myself a cup of coffee, then left it sitting on the counter until it got cold, and who knows what I may have intended to get done today that I’ve already forgotten. I know it seems like minor stuff, but some things can turn into major problems. Have you ever forgotten to wash something you needed for work the next day, then been late because you had to find something to replace it, or take the time to do it? How about forgetting to fill out paperwork in time to meet the deadline? (Okay, I don’t miss deadlines, but that’s because I make sure I have them posted in places where I’ll see them all the time, and get stuff done as soon as I have all the necessary information. Putting things off is NOT a safe thing to do when you have these kinds of issues.) Lists and schedules are a GOOD thing. They can help anyone out, but for someone with fibromyalgia, they are an absolute necessity.

There are lots of ways of coping, and the best way to find new ones to try is to talk to people, read books about fibro, look on the web, and network, network, network. The more information you have, the more ideas you find, the more likely you are to find something that works for you.

One of the ways I cope is by having a routine. If it’s something you do automatically, it’s something you won’t forget. My routine isn’t necessarily clock based, either. I don’t always get up at the same time every day, but I always follow the same routine when I do. My husband doesn’t necessarily get home at a specific time, but when he does I automatically empty his lunch bag, put away the ice packs, fill his water bottles and make his lunch for the next day, etc. I have to. When he first went back to work, I’d frequently get up in the morning to help him get ready and discover that there was no lunch, or his safety glasses hadn’t been cleaned, or something. Then we’d have to rush like maniacs to get him out the door in time. Now that I have a routine and everything is ready to go in the morning, we can get him out the door in 10 minutes if we have to.

Not only do routines make life easier and keep me from forgetting things, they reduce the stress levels immensely. Ask any doctor familiar with fibro, bipolar disorder, ADD, or PTSD, and they will all tell you that stress makes the symptoms worse. Heck, ask anyone that has any of these, they’ll tell you the same thing. Studies have shown that stress impairs memory, not just for those with disease processes, but for others as well,   (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/10/28/health/main652126.shtml, http://www.memoryskills.com.au/Page%20thirteen.htm) so anything that reduces stress levels will improve memory function.

Coping with one chronic illness is difficult, and the difficulty grows exponentially with each additional illness, so the more help you can find, the better off you’re gonna be. Don’t sit there and suffer, DO something to make it better. Even something as small as someone to talk to online can make an amazing difference in your life.